It's almost been 2 years since you left us, I tell you it feels like a lifetime. Whoever came up with the idea that time heals a broken heart is an idot because it doesn't. Time just means its been longer since I saw you, longer since we had an amazing conversation and even longer since I hugged you. I have only just started in the last 9 months to learn how to talk to people and be honest about how I am really feeling. Its been 2 years since we did that I didn't realise how hard it's really been. And you can find new people and try to move forward and somedays I wish I could forget so that the pain would go away. but they aren't you and they will never be you that doesnt mean they aren't amazing just means they aren't you. And I would do anything to spend one day or an hour or even a minute with you so I could say good bye and say I'm sorry for not being a better friend. We could have tried so much harder to see eachother even if we were both always busy. And I could have gone first we both wanted to get that surgery and I told you to go first because hospitals and drs and operations absolutely scare the shit out of me. You were going in first to prove to me that its easy and simple and nothing will happen. But it wasn't easy or simple it was hell in there it makes me so dam angry and it's taken me 2 years to finally try and get all this out.
I was sad but now I'm just angry and pissed off that there are still no answers..
I miss you so much and I wish you were still here. Man the stories I could tell you now! Ha you would totally laugh your arse off!
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